Don't give up.

a very good day.

Sunday, September 13, 2009, 1:44:00 PM

RULE 3: BE OPTIMISTIC.

---

Extracted from Amani's blog:

Spot the difference.

From left to right: Amani, Salina, Nadia, Hazwani, me, Hafizah and Aishah

SATURDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER 09: SEC 3 CIP

Do you think that picture's strange in a way? Like it's not meant to be that way? I think I lost all of you (the tiny group of people who read my blog) already. You don't get what I mean, right? Ok, I'll tell you now. Nurul Hazwani's hair is rebonded now! Isn't she prettier than on a normal day? Actually it's nothing new. Wani had rebonded hair in Sec 2 too. But I remember when she went to school with rebonded hair in Sec 2, Nadia and I went running around telling everybody how pretty she looked then (don't worry, Wani; you look pretty everyday). We had been that excited. Then in the background you can see Yong Ding still carrying his backpack. Yong Ding's hair is so long and (naturally) spiky, Mdm Rozila, Mr Ng and Mr Choo keeps picking on him.

At the void deck before we began collecting.

Mdm Rozila: Yong Ding!

Yong Ding walks to Mdm Rozila.

Mdm Rozila: Cut your hair, ok?

Yong Ding: Ok.

Yong Ding walks away.

If you don't know Yong Ding and read that, you wouldn't know how cute and funny that scene is. Yong Ding, with his flat tone and zombie-like look and walk. Anyway, Sec 3 CIP hadn't been that bad. It had been nice to see my class again. They can be a pain in the ass when they're in the mood but they really know how to make people happy. I ♥ 3/5'09. I didn't expect anybody to attend to us when we knocked and rang the bell (when I left home, only my dad had been awake; I don't think it's any different across Singapore). Although I did expect a lot to collect (my dad kept asking me if the school would take the stacks at home too. Nadia's dad too). What do you know? I was right. When I got back home and my mom asked how CIP had been, I told her everything and she laughed and called it cheap labour.

@ NENEK'S HOUSE

Ainul Hayati can make me happy any day of the week. When the men went for terawih, all the women had been busy studying (Kakak), making kuih (my nenek and the maids), attending to her baby (my auntie) and helping out (my mom). My brothers slept since they're sick. I'm left to play, feed and entertain Ain. Not that I mind at all. She called me "mama" and "ama". I think it's an attempt to say "Kak Nga" (that's what I'm called since I'm the second oldest).

---

MY CURRENT ADDICTION:

---

BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 2W 0D (14D)

a walk down to self-discovery.

Friday, September 11, 2009, 8:29:00 PM

RULE 2: DON'T FOCUS ON WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE.

"But that's the thing about Mary-Kate: She alone makes and breaks the rules for her life. I remember in high school - I think it was for prom or a winter formal - my sister wasn't happy with a kimono-style dress she was going to wear. So she did the only thing she knew how to do. She made it her own - visible staples and all. She possesses that rare gift of individuality; she doesn't need approval from anyone or anything. I trust her to always call it as it is."

- Ashley Olsen on Mary-Kate Olsen

Influence by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

I don't regret buying that big, thick, $70 book at all. Although in the whole book I only really read and looked back at that page. What I love about that paragraph is that Ashley could actually identify that prominent feature about Mary-Kate that made Mary-Kate ... Mary-Kate. On the way back home from school with Nadia, I wanted to know what people could identify and know me by. The emcee girl? The girl guide? The Nadia look-alike? She told me that people used to look up to me as pretty, intelligent and lady-like (I'm anything but that, I assure you). Used to. I have to admit, I felt hurt. But what's new, right? I went deep into thought and didn't pay attention to what Nadia went on about (sorry, Nadia). Nadia knows me too well. She continued: "There's this thing about you - you're eccentric but in a good way - there just won't be another Maliah Zubir."

That touched me. I still thought about it until I got back home. Eccentric and unique but corrupted. I'm still on the path of self-discovery and I thought if I wanted to find out who I am and who I want to be, I should start by looking back.

I dedicate a part of my room for my memoribilia. But I don't let anybody look at it; it's like my secret. Everything you see up there is part of it. Sango from Inuyasha. Sailor Moon. I'll admit it now: I used to be a BIG fan of anime in Pri 6. Don't you find Japan a divine country? I love all that creativity and culture. Yuni, if you still read my blog, I still keep that note you gave me on 29/02/08. I love that note. It's a very touching note. Khairunisa Othman, you may not know it but I really, really, really love the be-a-utiful birthday card you made for me in Sec 1. I don't care if you think you can't afford me a gift; it really is the thought that mattered. I look back and I see what I take for granted. Maybe now I have to be careful.

Do I now know who I am and what I want to be? No. But I'll keep on looking up to people who do. Oprah Winfrey. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Barack Obama. Ben & Jerry (the one and only; I have a book by them too, complete with ice cream). Jay-Z. Even Farreha.

Thank you. I'll be on my way now.

angry like fuck.

Thursday, September 10, 2009, 2:34:00 PM

I'M CURRENTLY DOING MY F&N RESEARCH AND IT'S GIVING ME A BIG HEADACHE. F&N ISN'T HOME EC, OK. IT'S A COMBINATION OF BIO, CHEM (BOTH BODY SCIENCES) AND HOME EC (EVEN THE HOME EC BIT IS JUST COOKING AND HEALTH). SO SHUT UP IF YOU DON'T TAKE F&N AND YOU THINK IT'S EASY AS ABC. MY BROTHER IS CRYING NON-STOP (EVERYDAY LIKE A BABY WHEN HE JUST TURNED 6) AND IT'S IRRITATING EVERYBODY LIKE HELL. WHEN I CAME BACK HOME JUST NOW, TIRED AND SWEATING LIKE A PIG FROM THE HEAT, EVERYBODY SHOUTED AT ME TO HURRY UP TO BRING DOWN THE LAPTOP (I'M CHANGING AND KAKAK, FULLY CLOTHED AND DOING NOTHING, COULD HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN) OR TO CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN I CHANGE (HOW CAN I CLOSE THE DOOR PROPERLY WHEN YOU'RE VACUUMING AND YOU PLUGGED IT IN THE SOCKET IN MY ROOM WHEN YOU CAN PLUG IT IN THE SOCKET OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM). I'VE GOT A COLD AND I CAN'T EAT MEDICINE. I THINK I DEVELOPED A PHOBIA FOR GOING ON STAGE. HOW IRONIC IS THIS WHEN I USED TO BE AN EMCEE. I'M SCARED FOR MONDAY. CAN I PULL DOWN MY HAT AND HIDE MY FACE???

...

Stop complaining lah, Maliah. So irritating (tau takpe).

my shopping trip with nadia and hazwani.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009, 9:21:00 PM

IT HAD BEEN TIRING BUT FUN.

I had my hair treatment with Kakak @ Iffah (my hair smells of peppermint now) and I went shopping with Nadia and Hazwani at Tampines Mall, Tampines 1 and Century Square. We could have gone to Bugis had my appointment been in the morning (aiyoh, Maliah). But we still had a ball of a time walking around in that triangle of shopping malls. Trying on dresses and tops. Sampling products at Body Shop. I got my headbands (good and delightingly cheap from Montip, Century Square) and I didn't plan on buying it but I bought Amy flats (in gold) from Cotton On.

WE'LL SHOP POST-EOY AND GO TO VIVO WITH A LOADED WALLET IN HAND.

---

1. UNIQLO MEG (LONG-SLEEVED) A (IN OFF-WHITE)

I couldn't find it at Uniqlo just now! I love it, it reminds me so much of Totoro! I need a new jacket. The last jacket I bought had been in Pri 6 and it has paint on the sleeves. The machine at home can't wash it off. According to my mom, it isn't good. She said it's why the towels have black stains (they look like mould, by the way).

2. BIORE UV PERFECT FACE MILK (SPF 50+)

The Bioré UV Perfect Face Milk (SPF 50+) is for matte finish and can act as a make up foundation, sun block and moisturiser. According to a reliable source, it's good to use in a hot and humid climate (like Singapore) but they advise we use it along with an antioxidant serum or moisturiser to protect skin from sun damage. That won't be a problem.

3. BODY SHOP ALOE PROTECTIVE SERUM

Did you know that we have "City Skin"? Anybody who lives in an urban jungle like Singapore would have City Skin. According to the recent CLEO issue, anybody who spends too much time on the computer, eats junk food frequently, goes shopping often and one more condition I forgot, has City Skin. Don't we all? The Body Shop Aloe Protective Serum is like a protective layer that prevents grim and dirt from gathering on your skin. Less grim, dirt and oil = Less pimples!

4. BODY SHOP WHITE MUSK MOISTURISING NAIL & HAND CREAM

Nadia, Hazwani and I tried on the sample in the Body Shop just now and I fell in love with the product instantly! My hands turned soft and if you smelt it, it had the most delightful smell. Nadia's nails were shining. I really, really, really wanted to buy it but I didn't have enough money from all the shopping. I can wait but I will buy it in the end.

5. BODY SHOP STRAWBERRY SET

Actually, I only want the Body Shop Strawberry Body Butter, Body Shop Strawberry Body Polish and Body Shop Strawberry Puree Body Lotion. Nadia lent me her Body Shop Strawberry Body Butter and now my arm is soft and fragrant, just like strawberries! Among all the body butters, strawberry smelt the most fragrant. The Body Shop Strawberry Body Polish and Body Shop Strawberry Puree Body Lotion compliments the Body Shop Strawberry Body Butter.

6. KIEHL'S LIP BALM (TUBE)

Everybody's using it and nobody's complaining. Why don't I give it a try?

---

BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 2W 4D (18D)

all work and no play.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009, 11:23:00 AM

07/09/09: Girl Guide Heritage Trail @ SH@PE (Sec 1s & 3s)
08/09/09: -
09/09/09: Hair treatment with Kakak @ Iffah, shopping with Nadia and Hazwani
10/09/09: CCA Colours Award briefing @ School
11/09/09: Girl Guide CL-ACL meeting and study session @ Guide's Den, School

[ ] ENGLISH: Study for vocabulary test
[ ] MALAY: Read and do book review (+ character analysis) on 5 cerpen
[ ] MALAY: Type out Malay idioms
[x] ARITHMETIC: Worksheet (Ex 6.2, Circles: Properties of Circles)
[x] ARITHMETIC: Weekend Homework 8 (Trigonometry: Applications of Trigonometry)
[ ] ARITHMETIC: Holiday Homework (Part 1 & 2)
[x] PHYSICS: Worksheet (Light: Refraction)
[ ] PHYSICS: Holiday Homework
[x] CHEMISTRY: Notes (Periodic Table: Group VII; Halogens)
[x] CHEMISTRY: Worksheet 3 (Periodic Table: Group VII; Halogens)
[x] CHEMISTRY: Holiday Homework (PRCS MYE 2008)
[ ] FOOD & NUTRITION: Research & Development
[ ] FOOD & NUTRITION: Decision-making
[ ] GIRL GUIDES: Heritage Trail (Final draft)
[ ] GIRL GUIDES: Health Trooper badge

J.O., I don't see how this is a "balance between school and holiday". This 1 week holiday isn't a holiday; it's just not curriculum time. I intend on doing the bolded red today and try to do the bolded green too. I don't intend to do the bolded purple at all. Mrs Tan gave the homework during the PTM and only half the class received it. Looking at everything I have to do, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.

---

Monday had to be a very assholic day. The Girl Guide Heritage Trail at SH@PE had been alright. Although the whole time I had been salivating from all the talking. I shouldn't have ate that Myojo Mee Goreng the night before. It made me dehydrated the whole day. After discussing with Ms Huang possible programmes for the Girl Guide Camp, I couldn't believe how unbelievably small our school is. We can't pitch tents now that the area in front of the General office had been converted to a garden, the area in between the learning block and the lab block had been converted to a vegetable garden and the school field is owned by the Sports Council. How can it be named the "school field" if it's owned by the Sports Council?

I walked all the way back home from EPPS to DTE. I don't know why I did but I did. When I came back home, all I could do is lie on the couch and play dead. The Internet connection didn't work. The laptop didn't work. The home phone didn't work. I'm going to overbill. Actually, I think I already overbilled. But every action has an equal and opposite reaction. My mom ordered Canadian Pizza for buka. Wani invited me to go shopping. Nadia didn't mind spending the whole day in the Guide's Den on Friday. I had a slight cold and my gums were itchy but after taking medicine, Strepsils (they really work!) and a good night's sleep, I'm ok today. Guess what? My mom called an electritian down and today he fixed the phone and Internet connection.

AND HOW NICE IS THIS. NOBODY'S TAGGING MY BLOG.

---

BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 2W 5D (19D)

引っ越しとねこ。(Moving and Maru.)

Sunday, September 6, 2009, 1:47:00 PM

ALAMAK! (FYI: I really do and can go, "Alamak".)

WHY'S THAT CAT SO PERFECTLY GREY AND WHITE?!

---

BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 3W 0D (21D)

change of heart by jodi picoult.

Saturday, September 5, 2009, 1:50:00 PM

RULE 1: STOP GETTING IRRITATED BY AND ANGRY AT EVERYTHING.

---

"Maliah, Jodi Picoult again?"

"Did you, like, buy every book she wrote?"

No, I didn't but Jodi Picoult is now officially my favourite author. If you've read a book written by Jodi Picoult before, it's plain to see why. She's bloody talented and good at writing! The only con to reading them is that I start to lose confidence in my own writing too. My writing is totally immature compared to Jodi Picoult's.

"When the warden finished, he faced Shay. 'Inmate Bourne, do you have any final words?'

Shay squinted, until he found me in the front row. He kept his eyes on me for a long moment, and then drifted toward Father Michael. But then he turned to the side of the tent where the witnesses for the victim were gathered, and he smiled at June Nealon. 'I forgive you', he said.

Immediately afterward, a curtain was drawn. It reached only to the floor of the gallows, and it was a translucent white. I didn't know if the warden had intended for us to see what was happening behind it, but we could, in macabre silhouette: the hood being placed over Shay's head, the noose being tightened against his neck, the two officers who'd secured him stepping backward.

'Good-bye', I whispered.

Somewhere, a door slammed, and suddenly the trap was open and the body plummeted, one quick firecracker snap as the weight caught at the end of the rope. Shay slowly turned counterclock-wise with the unlikely grace of a ballerina, an October leaf, a snowflake falling.

I felt Father Michael's hand on mine, conveying what there were not words to say. 'It's over', he whispered.

I don't know what made me turn toward June Nealon, but I did. The woman sat with her back straight as a redwood, her hands folded so tightly in her lap that I could see the half-moons her own nails were cutting in her own skin. Her eyes were tightly squeezed shut.

After all this, she hadn't even watched him die."

- An extract from Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

(2008)

I have recently completed the book, Change of Heart. I had actually been reluctant to buy the book; the summary didn't catch my attention. Although after reading the discussion questions at the back, I thought maybe I'd give the book a try. I'm glad I did.

June Nealon has suffered more than anybody had. She has not only gone through the loss of a loved one but three. After losing her first husband in a car accident, June marries the town's beloved policeman, Kurt Nealon, and together they bring up her daughter, Elizabeth, from her first marriage. June, pregnant with her second child, Claire, comes home one day only to find out that their carpenter Shay Bourne had shot both Kurt and Elizabeth to death. Shay is hated by the nation for taking away the lives of both a beloved policeman and an innocent little girl and is sentenced to death. 11 years later, Shay is still alive due to his many appeals to postpone his death sentence. June is about to experience the loss of a forth loved one when Claire is dying of heart failure. Shay gets to know about Claire's predicament and decides to donate his heart to Calire after his death. But June is reluctant. How could she give her daughter the heart of a muderer?

Warning: there will be heavy mention of religion. Christianity, to be specific. I know, I didn't expect it too. I'd give the book a 4.5/5. I'm looking forward to reading Jodi Picoult's next novel.

---

BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 3W 1D (22D)

pimp my phone.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009, 10:19:00 PM

I WANT TO PIMP MY ~~RIDE~~ PHONE.

I can't help but think that my phone is very ... naked. That's the only word to describe it. I thought maybe changing the theme and putting on a keychain would help. Or not putting on a keychain and just changing the theme would help but after a while I stopped lying to myself. It didn't work. Although I really, truly love my current theme: a cat with cherry blossoms in the background.

Anyway, at the back of my phone there's a shiny surface with "NOKIA Eseries" written across it. Not that it's ugly; I find it very cool. But what if I put on Swarovski crytals at the back, like Xiaxue (or like Dan Ping)? It's cute, it's nice but it takes a lot of time, effort and patience. And if you'd like to call it, putting on Swavorski crystals on an item as beloved as a phone is very, very, very risky.